Les trente tâches, par le Dr Carnes (en anglais)
thump @ 23-10-2011 18:10:29

Le Dr Carnes, spécialiste du traitement de l'addiction sexuelle, a mis au point une liste de trente tâches à mener à bien afin de se défaire de l'addiction au sexe. La voici, à l'intention de ceux qu'elle pourrait inspirer. <table border="1" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" class="MsoNormalTable" style="border-collapse: collapse; border: medium none"> <tbody><tr> <td width="217" valign="top" style="width: 162.9pt; border: 1pt solid black; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Task/Goal </td> <td width="270" valign="top" style="width: 202.5pt; border-width: 1pt 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: solid solid solid none; border-color: black black black -moz-use-text-color; -moz-border-top-colors: none; -moz-border-right-colors: none; -moz-border-bottom-colors: none; -moz-border-left-colors: none; -moz-border-image: none; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Performable </td> <td width="180" valign="top" style="width: 135pt; border-width: 1pt 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: solid solid solid none; border-color: black black black -moz-use-text-color; -moz-border-top-colors: none; -moz-border-right-colors: none; -moz-border-bottom-colors: none; -moz-border-left-colors: none; -moz-border-image: none; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Life Competency </td> </tr> <tr> <td width="217" valign="top" style="width: 162.9pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt; border-style: none solid solid; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black; -moz-border-top-colors: none; -moz-border-right-colors: none; -moz-border-bottom-colors: none; -moz-border-left-colors: none; -moz-border-image: none; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> 1. Break through denial </td> <td width="270" valign="top" style="width: 202.5pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Make a full disclosure to therapist all forms of sexual acting out. Complete a list of examples of powerlessness and unmanageability. </td> <td width="180" valign="top" style="width: 135pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Recognize self delusion. </td> </tr> <tr> <td width="217" valign="top" style="width: 162.9pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt; border-style: none solid solid; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black; -moz-border-top-colors: none; -moz-border-right-colors: none; -moz-border-bottom-colors: none; -moz-border-left-colors: none; -moz-border-image: none; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> 2. Understand the nature of the illness. </td> <td width="270" valign="top" style="width: 202.5pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Read at least one book on sexual addiction/anorexia. Complete the First Step. Complete a Sexual History. Complete a Consequences Inventory. </td> <td width="180" valign="top" style="width: 135pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Have knowledge of Addiction and Recovery. </td> </tr> <tr> <td width="217" valign="top" style="width: 162.9pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt; border-style: none solid solid; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black; -moz-border-top-colors: none; -moz-border-right-colors: none; -moz-border-bottom-colors: none; -moz-border-left-colors: none; -moz-border-image: none; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> 3. Surrender to the Process. </td> <td width="270" valign="top" style="width: 202.5pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Complete a Second Step and Third Step. </td> <td width="180" valign="top" style="width: 135pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Know personal limits. </td> </tr> <tr> <td width="217" valign="top" style="width: 162.9pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt; border-style: none solid solid; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black; -moz-border-top-colors: none; -moz-border-right-colors: none; -moz-border-bottom-colors: none; -moz-border-left-colors: none; -moz-border-image: none; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> 4. Admit damage from behavior. </td> <td width="270" valign="top" style="width: 202.5pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Write a Damage Control Plan and implement it. </td> <td width="180" valign="top" style="width: 135pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Be a expert in self care, crisis avoidance and crisis management. </td> </tr> <tr> <td width="217" valign="top" style="width: 162.9pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt; border-style: none solid solid; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black; -moz-border-top-colors: none; -moz-border-right-colors: none; -moz-border-bottom-colors: none; -moz-border-left-colors: none; -moz-border-image: none; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> 5. Establish Sobriety. </td> <td width="270" valign="top" style="width: 202.5pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Write a Sobriety Statement. Complete a Celibacy Contract of eight weeks or more. Write a Relapse Prevention Plan. Complete Fantasy Contamination Exercise. </td> <td width="180" valign="top" style="width: 135pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Manage life without dysfunctional sexual behavior. </td> </tr> <tr> <td width="217" valign="top" style="width: 162.9pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt; border-style: none solid solid; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black; -moz-border-top-colors: none; -moz-border-right-colors: none; -moz-border-bottom-colors: none; -moz-border-left-colors: none; -moz-border-image: none; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> 6. Ensure Physical Integrity. </td> <td width="270" valign="top" style="width: 202.5pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Complete a physical exam. </td> <td width="180" valign="top" style="width: 135pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Be an expert in physical self care. </td> </tr> <tr> <td width="217" valign="top" style="width: 162.9pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt; border-style: none solid solid; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black; -moz-border-top-colors: none; -moz-border-right-colors: none; -moz-border-bottom-colors: none; -moz-border-left-colors: none; -moz-border-image: none; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> 7. Participate in a culture of support. </td> <td width="270" valign="top" style="width: 202.5pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Attend Twelve Step sex addiction meetings regularly. Attend other Twelve Step meetings as appropriate. </td> <td width="180" valign="top" style="width: 135pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Build a functional health support system. </td> </tr> <tr> <td width="217" valign="top" style="width: 162.9pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt; border-style: none solid solid; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black; -moz-border-top-colors: none; -moz-border-right-colors: none; -moz-border-bottom-colors: none; -moz-border-left-colors: none; -moz-border-image: none; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> 8. Reduce Shame. </td> <td width="270" valign="top" style="width: 202.5pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Complete Step 4 and Step 5. </td> <td width="180" valign="top" style="width: 135pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Recognize and manage toxic shame. </td> </tr> <tr> <td width="217" valign="top" style="width: 162.9pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt; border-style: none solid solid; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black; -moz-border-top-colors: none; -moz-border-right-colors: none; -moz-border-bottom-colors: none; -moz-border-left-colors: none; -moz-border-image: none; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> 9. Grief Losses. </td> <td width="270" valign="top" style="width: 202.5pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Define clear grieving strategies and use them. </td> <td width="180" valign="top" style="width: 135pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Recognize grief and have skills for grieving. </td> </tr> <tr> <td width="217" valign="top" style="width: 162.9pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt; border-style: none solid solid; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black; -moz-border-top-colors: none; -moz-border-right-colors: none; -moz-border-bottom-colors: none; -moz-border-left-colors: none; -moz-border-image: none; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> 10. Understand multiple addictions and sobriety. </td> <td width="270" valign="top" style="width: 202.5pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Complete an Addiction Interaction Disorder screen. Complete a Multiple Addiction Relapse Prevention Plan. </td> <td width="180" valign="top" style="width: 135pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Remain relapse free from all concurrent addictions. </td> </tr> <tr> <td width="217" valign="top" style="width: 162.9pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt; border-style: none solid solid; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black; -moz-border-top-colors: none; -moz-border-right-colors: none; -moz-border-bottom-colors: none; -moz-border-left-colors: none; -moz-border-image: none; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> 11. Acknowledge cycles of abuse. </td> <td width="270" valign="top" style="width: 202.5pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Complete Survivors weeks. Complete Abuse Inventory. </td> <td width="180" valign="top" style="width: 135pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Identify abuse and exploitation. </td> </tr> <tr> <td width="217" valign="top" style="width: 162.9pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt; border-style: none solid solid; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black; -moz-border-top-colors: none; -moz-border-right-colors: none; -moz-border-bottom-colors: none; -moz-border-left-colors: none; -moz-border-image: none; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> 12. Bring closure and resolution to addiction shame. </td> <td width="270" valign="top" style="width: 202.5pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Complete Step Eight and Step Nine. </td> <td width="180" valign="top" style="width: 135pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Keep current on shame, resentment and relationship issues. </td> </tr> <tr> <td width="217" valign="top" style="width: 162.9pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt; border-style: none solid solid; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black; -moz-border-top-colors: none; -moz-border-right-colors: none; -moz-border-bottom-colors: none; -moz-border-left-colors: none; -moz-border-image: none; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> 13. Restore financial viability. </td> <td width="270" valign="top" style="width: 202.5pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Save within financial means (spend less than earned). Work Recovery financial plan. </td> <td width="180" valign="top" style="width: 135pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Maintain financial viability. </td> </tr> <tr> <td width="217" valign="top" style="width: 162.9pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt; border-style: none solid solid; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black; -moz-border-top-colors: none; -moz-border-right-colors: none; -moz-border-bottom-colors: none; -moz-border-left-colors: none; -moz-border-image: none; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> 14. Restore meaningful work. </td> <td width="270" valign="top" style="width: 202.5pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Establish a meaningful career path. </td> <td width="180" valign="top" style="width: 135pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Have meaningful works. </td> </tr> <tr> <td width="217" valign="top" style="width: 162.9pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt; border-style: none solid solid; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black; -moz-border-top-colors: none; -moz-border-right-colors: none; -moz-border-bottom-colors: none; -moz-border-left-colors: none; -moz-border-image: none; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> 15. Create lifestyle balance. </td> <td width="270" valign="top" style="width: 202.5pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Use a Personal Craziness Index for 8 weeks. </td> <td width="180" valign="top" style="width: 135pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Live in balance and harmony. </td> </tr> <tr> <td width="217" valign="top" style="width: 162.9pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt; border-style: none solid solid; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black; -moz-border-top-colors: none; -moz-border-right-colors: none; -moz-border-bottom-colors: none; -moz-border-left-colors: none; -moz-border-image: none; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> 16. Build supportive personal relationships. </td> <td width="270" valign="top" style="width: 202.5pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Find and use a sponsor. Attend therapy group for 175 hours. Be a sponsor to others. </td> <td width="180" valign="top" style="width: 135pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Initiate and sustain enduring life relationships. </td> </tr> <tr> <td width="217" valign="top" style="width: 162.9pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt; border-style: none solid solid; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black; -moz-border-top-colors: none; -moz-border-right-colors: none; -moz-border-bottom-colors: none; -moz-border-left-colors: none; -moz-border-image: none; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> 17. Establish healthy exercise and nutrition patterns. </td> <td width="270" valign="top" style="width: 202.5pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Have a weekly aerobic exercise pattern. Remain in appropriate weight range for age and height. </td> <td width="180" valign="top" style="width: 135pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Stay physically fit. </td> </tr> <tr> <td width="217" valign="top" style="width: 162.9pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt; border-style: none solid solid; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black; -moz-border-top-colors: none; -moz-border-right-colors: none; -moz-border-bottom-colors: none; -moz-border-left-colors: none; -moz-border-image: none; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> 18. Restructure relationship with self. </td> <td width="270" valign="top" style="width: 202.5pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Complete eighteen months of individual therapy. Clarify boundaries goals and needs. </td> <td width="180" valign="top" style="width: 135pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Have a workable, compassionate relationship with self in order to be self-determining and autonomous. </td> </tr> <tr> <td width="217" valign="top" style="width: 162.9pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt; border-style: none solid solid; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black; -moz-border-top-colors: none; -moz-border-right-colors: none; -moz-border-bottom-colors: none; -moz-border-left-colors: none; -moz-border-image: none; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> 19. Resolve original conflict wounds. </td> <td width="270" valign="top" style="width: 202.5pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Do therapy specific to family of origin or trauma issues. </td> <td width="180" valign="top" style="width: 135pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Identify and manage recurring dysfunctional patterns. </td> </tr> <tr> <td width="217" valign="top" style="width: 162.9pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt; border-style: none solid solid; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black; -moz-border-top-colors: none; -moz-border-right-colors: none; -moz-border-bottom-colors: none; -moz-border-left-colors: none; -moz-border-image: none; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> 20. Restore healthy sexuality. </td> <td width="270" valign="top" style="width: 202.5pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Write a sex plan and keep it updated. </td> <td width="180" valign="top" style="width: 135pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Have sexual health. </td> </tr> <tr> <td width="217" valign="top" style="width: 162.9pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt; border-style: none solid solid; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black; -moz-border-top-colors: none; -moz-border-right-colors: none; -moz-border-bottom-colors: none; -moz-border-left-colors: none; -moz-border-image: none; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> 21. Involve family members in therapy. </td> <td width="270" valign="top" style="width: 202.5pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Family members attend Family Week. Family members attend therapy sessions. </td> <td width="180" valign="top" style="width: 135pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Capacity to ask help from immediate family. </td> </tr> <tr> <td width="217" valign="top" style="width: 162.9pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt; border-style: none solid solid; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black; -moz-border-top-colors: none; -moz-border-right-colors: none; -moz-border-bottom-colors: none; -moz-border-left-colors: none; -moz-border-image: none; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> 22. Alter dysfunctional family relationships. </td> <td width="270" valign="top" style="width: 202.5pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Full disclosure to primary partner and immediate family as appropriate. </td> <td width="180" valign="top" style="width: 135pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Remain true to self in the presence of dysfunction. </td> </tr> <tr> <td width="217" valign="top" style="width: 162.9pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt; border-style: none solid solid; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black; -moz-border-top-colors: none; -moz-border-right-colors: none; -moz-border-bottom-colors: none; -moz-border-left-colors: none; -moz-border-image: none; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> 23. Commit to recovery for each family member. </td> <td width="270" valign="top" style="width: 202.5pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Family members enter a recovery program for themselves. </td> <td width="180" valign="top" style="width: 135pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Take responsibility for self. </td> </tr> <tr> <td width="217" valign="top" style="width: 162.9pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt; border-style: none solid solid; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black; -moz-border-top-colors: none; -moz-border-right-colors: none; -moz-border-bottom-colors: none; -moz-border-left-colors: none; -moz-border-image: none; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> 24. Resolve issues with children. </td> <td width="270" valign="top" style="width: 202.5pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Share secrets and make amends to children when appropriate. </td> <td width="180" valign="top" style="width: 135pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Resolve conflict in dependent relationships. </td> </tr> <tr> <td width="217" valign="top" style="width: 162.9pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt; border-style: none solid solid; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black; -moz-border-top-colors: none; -moz-border-right-colors: none; -moz-border-bottom-colors: none; -moz-border-left-colors: none; -moz-border-image: none; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> 25. Resolve issues with extended family. </td> <td width="270" valign="top" style="width: 202.5pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Share secrets and make amends to extended family when appropriate. </td> <td width="180" valign="top" style="width: 135pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Resolves conflict in interdependent relationships. </td> </tr> <tr> <td width="217" valign="top" style="width: 162.9pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt; border-style: none solid solid; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black; -moz-border-top-colors: none; -moz-border-right-colors: none; -moz-border-bottom-colors: none; -moz-border-left-colors: none; -moz-border-image: none; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> 26. Work through differentiation. </td> <td width="270" valign="top" style="width: 202.5pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Write a “Fair Fight” contract. </td> <td width="180" valign="top" style="width: 135pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Sustain intimacy without loss of self. </td> </tr> <tr> <td width="217" valign="top" style="width: 162.9pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt; border-style: none solid solid; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black; -moz-border-top-colors: none; -moz-border-right-colors: none; -moz-border-bottom-colors: none; -moz-border-left-colors: none; -moz-border-image: none; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> 27. Recommit/commit to primary relationship. </td> <td width="270" valign="top" style="width: 202.5pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Commit to a primary relationship, or recommit to primary relationship. </td> <td width="180" valign="top" style="width: 135pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Capacity to maintain a committed relationship. </td> </tr> <tr> <td width="217" valign="top" style="width: 162.9pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt; border-style: none solid solid; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black; -moz-border-top-colors: none; -moz-border-right-colors: none; -moz-border-bottom-colors: none; -moz-border-left-colors: none; -moz-border-image: none; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> 28. Commit to coupleship. </td> <td width="270" valign="top" style="width: 202.5pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Attend Twelve Step meeting for couples regularly. </td> <td width="180" valign="top" style="width: 135pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Participate in a community of couples. </td> </tr> <tr> <td width="217" valign="top" style="width: 162.9pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt; border-style: none solid solid; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black; -moz-border-top-colors: none; -moz-border-right-colors: none; -moz-border-bottom-colors: none; -moz-border-left-colors: none; -moz-border-image: none; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> 29. Succeed in primary intimacy. </td> <td width="270" valign="top" style="width: 202.5pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Have a primary relationship which is satisfying. </td> <td width="180" valign="top" style="width: 135pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Be vulnerable and intimate. </td> </tr> <tr> <td width="217" valign="top" style="width: 162.9pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt; border-style: none solid solid; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black; -moz-border-top-colors: none; -moz-border-right-colors: none; -moz-border-bottom-colors: none; -moz-border-left-colors: none; -moz-border-image: none; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> 30. Develop a spiritual life. </td> <td width="270" valign="top" style="width: 202.5pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Find and use a spiritual director or mentor. Join a spiritual community. </td> <td width="180" valign="top" style="width: 135pt; border-width: medium 1pt 1pt medium; border-style: none solid solid none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color black black -moz-use-text-color; padding: 0cm 5.4pt"> Be spiritual conscious. </td> </tr> </tbody></table>
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Re: Les trente tâches, par le Dr Carnes (en anglais)
thump @ 13-11-2011 23:11:04

up
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Re: Les trente tâches, par le Dr Carnes (en anglais)
thump @ 14-11-2011 07:11:08

J'ai fait remonter ce topic. Ces étapes vers la guérison -même si certaines n'ont pas à être réalisées par tous- balaient de manière complète ce qu'il faut aborder et au moins améliorer. Se débarrasser d'une addiction enracinée est à ce prix. Et nous autres dépendants savons bien que le prix d'une vie dans l'addiction est bien plus élevé. Encore une fois, il ne faudrait pas croire qu'écrire quelques mots -ou même des pages ici- et de prendre la ferme résolution de "tenir" puisse nous libérer de l'addiction. Ne faire que ça pourrait peut-être marcher pour des personnes jeunes, n'ayant pas subi trop de carences éducatives et de traumatismes et seulement dans les cas récent d'addiction (1 à 3 ans max, à mon avis)....La plupart des dépendants qui cherchent de l'aide, ne serait-ce que via ce site, sont déjà empêtré bien plus profond dans leur dépendance. Dépendance qui en plus des raisons qui l'on suscitée cause en elle-même bien des dégâts au niveau physiologique (entre autre fonctionnement des neurotransmetteurs du cerveau) psychologique et donc social. A des niveaux de gravité plus ou moins grands.S'en rendre compte peut-être très effrayant. Mais ce n'est qu'en prenant la mesure des dégâts et la difficulté de la tâches que l'on peut mettre en oeuvre les moyens qui vont permettre d'enrayer l'addiction et d'instaurer un mieux-être. L'ennui, c'est que de très nombreux psy -en tous cas ceux que j'ai vu- ne prennent pas cette addiction au sérieux. Ou ne savent pas la traiter du tout. Il est souvent nécessaire de très bien s'informer par soi-même et de rester ferme sur le but de la psychothérapie. Ou de chercher directement un psy spécialisé dans l'addiction -mais il n'y en n'a pas partout.Trop d'idées préconçues, une sous-estimation de la gravité de la maladie fait perdre un temps précieux. Une addiction est un problème psycho-socio-physiologique qui demande des remédiations dans chacun de ces domaines. Non on ne peut pas s'en sortir "seul"."Cette fois-ci, je vais tenir" : Non. Ce n'est pas vrai si on ne change rien à sa vie.Oui il faut se faire aider par les autres (psy, DASA, ce forum)Oui un traitement médicamenteux adapté est parfois nécessaire, parfois indispensable1 an et demi, 2 années peuvent suffirent à guérir et à laisser l'addiction derrière soi. A condition de réaliser le travail, de faire face à ce qu'on fuyait auparavant. A condition de reconnaitre à la fois que l'on doit s'assumer et que l'on a besoin d'accepter les autres et leur aide. 
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Re: Les trente tâches, par le Dr Carnes (en anglais)
thump @ 14-11-2011 21:11:49

Bon je me laisse emporter par mon élan, et je parle de choses dont je n'ai pas l'expérience. Simplement, je mets mes espoirs en un méthode balisées qui, je pense peux donner des résultats. En tous cas, elle me semble cohérente. Mais aussi je me rends compte aussi qu'aussitôt revenu, j'inonde tous les topics de mes opinions....Opinions qui ne reposent que sur une réflexion, un espoir et une un recoupement d'expérience....Ces opinions ne reposent pas encore sur l'expérimentation complète et couronnée de succès de ladite démarche. Bref, je me montre peut-être un peu trop agressif. En même temps, ça me fout en rogne de voir des personnes ici, retomber encore et encore. Puis se faire et se refaire les mêmes promesses milles fois faites et mille fois bafouées. Ca me fout en rogne, ça me désole pour eux, et ça m'effraie pour moi. J'ai peur de rechuter. J'ai carrément peur de rechuter. Je ne veux pas me remettre à compulser devant mon écran. Je ne veux pas recommencer à m'abrutir pour fuir, fuir, fuir. L'addiction est une horrible galère. Une horrible galère.
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